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Archive for November 2009

innocence

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Do you ever feel guilty? I do.
Come to think of it, a lot of times.
Not like a criminal, or heavy stuff, or a nagging bad conscience.
More like some permanent feeling of failing somehow.
Like again not doing things you planned for.
Again disappointing some person…
Going to bed too late again… whatever…
It’s like dragging along with your bad habits all the time.
You cannot escape from them, can you? Whatever you try…

But today it was different. I had this feeling of innocence.
Don’t know where it came from, but it felt great.
I am innocent. I am perfect as I am.
I really am. Wow. What a wonderfull feeling.

I think I’ll stick to it. I am not to blame.
Neither are you.
Who is?

So today I guess I did find paradise…

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Written by pingbol

November 22, 2009 at 3:07 am

Posted in art

paradise revisited

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unreacheable

unreacheable

paradise_revisited

study in oil

Written by pingbol

November 8, 2009 at 1:31 pm

Posted in art

arrow of time

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everything only happens once

Yesterday this reality struck me. Well I always did know, more or less, consciously or subconsciously, but never in this clear and concise statement: “everything only happens once”. Maybe it came to me in this way, as recently I did read in the Tao te Ching. This also gives short, clear statements about the main events in our lives.

There are many repetitions of course going on all theĀ  time, science is nurtured by this phenomenon, but never exactly the same, even not so on the quantum level. I say this from my intuition, not as a scientist well acquainted with quantum-mechanics, which I am not, but I am sure it is so. There is always the arrow of time, or the second law of thermodynamics (you know, like you can burn a cigarette, but you never can remake the cigarette again from the ashes, the smoke, the dissipated heat…). And on the quantum-level I am sure all the phenomena somehow are related, intertwined, and slowly but surely changing on this big timescale from the big bang to a far away future were everything will be very different from now…

When you realize everything only happens once, it makes you think… like… would this also be in paradise? Would there also be an arrow of time in paradise? I would think not… in paradise there is no death… you are immortal… and all the wonderful things there are plenty… you have these joys forever… so in paradise maybe everything happens again and again… no beginning, no end…

You might say: “but yes there is a beginning of paradise, paradise was created, have a look in Genesis.” This would mean, outside paradise there is this arrow of time, but inside there is not…

So what would this analysis tell us about the fall from grace?

(to be continued… :))

Written by pingbol

November 8, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Posted in art